


Face Down

by Eren_Is_Rhiannon



Series: Savin' Me [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive!Jean, Based off Face Down, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eren has titan hair, Eren needs help, F/F, F/M, I KNOW THE LYRICS ARE OUT OF ORDER THANK YOU!!, ITS FUCKING JAEGER NOT YAEGER, Levi is Sexy, Levi provides help, M/M, Marco is not Freckled Jesus in this, More warnings well be added as the story goes on, Obviously I changed the warnings to fit chapter 4, Songfic, TRIGGER WARNING FOR CHAPTER 4, Tired of Marco being angelic, goddamn, how does one tag?, just so y'all know, let's turn him to da dark side, more like freckled satan, thought i should add more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:32:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eren_Is_Rhiannon/pseuds/Eren_Is_Rhiannon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is in hell. Jean has done nothing to help him, merely covering the damage done with lies. Until Eren meets Levi. Levi seems to know too much about Jean and Eren's relationship and refuses to let the dual eyed boy drown in the poison that is Jean Kirstein.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cover up With Make up in the Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I deleted my other fanfics because I was not happy with them at all. I found this started in the deep dark recesses of Google Docs and decided to revise it and Post it. It may be triggering to some people so be warned! This WILL BE ANGSTY. THIS WON'T BE HAPPY UNTIL MUCH LATER. Anyhoo...Enjoy!

“Eren! I’m home!” Jean called, unaware that his voice made Eren’s blood run cold. It wasn’t like when they first met, when Jean’s voice made butterflies appear in Eren’s stomach. Eren now felt like they had transformed into wasps.

“I’m up here!” Eren called from the second floor of their home. He was cleaning the bathrooms and he refused to look in the mirror. His face and neck felt sore, no doubt the result of the fight from last night.

_“How fucking dare you! You think I’d fucking cheat?!” Jean’s voice was getting increasingly louder. “You distrust me?!”_

“Hey.” Jean smiled at Eren, the same smile that had lead Eren to the situation he was in now. “How are you feeling?”

Eren wet his lips. “Better….I’m sorry about last night….”

_“I fucking saw you with him! I’m not stupid! You promised!” Eren responded, almost in tears, extremely hurt._

Jean clenched his jaw. “I know...You know I would never hurt you like that, right?” He cupped Eren’s cheek.

Eren tried not to recoil. “Right. I was afraid…” He trailed off.

_“I never fucking kissed him! What the fuck?!” Jean turned his back to Eren, running his hands through his hair, frustrated._

“I know you were, babe, I should have been more careful. “ Jean pulled Eren into his arms. “I wasn’t thinking about how you would interpret how Marco was showing gratitude.”

Eren nodded slightly. “I shouldn’t have been jealous. You two were always close.”

_“Why did you….” Eren was cut off by hands, Jean’s hands, circling his neck._

_“Shut up…” Jean growled._

“I would have been too.” Jean smiled. “If it were you and Armin.”

“Yea…” Eren looked up at the amber eyed man. “Are we doing anything later..?”

Jean shrugged. “Maybe. Reiner invited us to go out with them for drinks and such.” He pulled away to look at Eren’s face and neck, running his fingers over the bruises. “I’m sorry…”

Eren felt himself tense. “I was being stupid...I deserved it. I’ll be fine.”

“I brought you some concealer if you wanted to cover them up, like you cover up the marks.” Jean hand him the bag.

Eren took it out. “So I take it we’re going tonight?” He looked at him.

“Yea, I figured it would be good for us to go out for a little bit.” Jean shrugged. “We need to leave by five.”

“What time is it?”

“Four.” Jean kissed his cheek. “Go ahead and shower babe.”

Eren nods. “I will, once I finish in here.”

Jean’s eyes darkened. “What did I say?”

“To go ahead and get my shower but I need to-” Eren was cut off by a slap. He held his cheek.

“You will do as I say.” Jean whispered darkly. “Do I make myself clear?”

Eren nodded. “Y-yes.”

“Good.” Jean kissed his cheek and left.

Eren put everything away, shaking slightly from the shock of the slap. It’s not the first time, Why are you even surprised he did it again? He sighed, going into the room he and Jean shared to grab fresh clothes that didn’t smell like bleach or cleaners. He froze when he noticed a spot of blood on the carpet.

_Eren gasped in shock when Jean’s fist hit his cheek, the force knocking him down. “What the hell?!”_

_“I said Shut the Fuck UP!” Jean kicked his chest. Eren cried out, turning over and curling up to avoid anymore. He barely noticed the blood drip, drip, dripping from his lip._

Eren shook himself and made a mental note to scrub it when they got back, assuming Jean would even let him. He turned away from it and went back to the bathroom. He turned on the water to the hottest setting hoping that it would help burn away the memory. Eren stared at his chest as he took off his shirt. The bruises made it look like he was a living hopscotch game. He looked at his neck. At the bruises that circled his neck like a black and blue choker. He refused to look at his face, knowing he would see a swollen lip, and cheeks so darkly bruised they looked like someone rubbed charcoal on them. He could only hope that the concealer would hold up.

Eren got in the shower, hissing at the heat, but relaxing in it at the same time. Jean could never fathom Eren’s reasoning behind the scalding hot showers. Not that Eren cared anymore. Jean would never understand that every hit, every kick made him feel less like a human and more like an object. A punching bag that would receive gifts and endless apologies after every hit. Jean would never understand that these showers helped him wash away any and all hurt from the previous day, from the previous fight. He scrubbed at his skin, trying to see if the bruises would wash away like marker. They didn’t.

Eren sighed and got out, drying off. The bruises on his chest, he wouldn’t waste concealer on them. They were too easily covered by the shirt. The ones on his neck would be hidden partially by his long hair. It wasn’t too long but it was long enough. He finally looked at his face. And immediately looked down. _Holy shit…_ He glanced up again. His face was nearly black with the bruises. He quickly got dressed and started to put the concealer on. He used nearly half the bottle just on his face. Might as well take it with me. Don’t need anyone to question. He stuffed that bottle and a brand new one into his pockets.

Eren picked up his dirty clothes and threw them into the basket, and ran into Jean. “I’m sorry!” He said quickly.

Jean only laughed. “It’s okay.” He tilted Eren’s head up so he could see Eren’s face. “You look much better.”

“Thank you…” Eren was quiet.

Jean leaned down and kissed him gently. There was a time when kisses like this would have made him weak and Eren would have done anything for another. Eren kissed back, reluctantly.  “Babe, you okay?” Jean pulled away.

“Yeah.” No. “You know how my anxiety gets when we go out.” Eren smiled weakly.

“Alright. Let’s go then.” Jean smiled at him. The serpent must have smiled at Eve that way. Eren nods, and grabs his wallet, while Jean leads them to the car. _I can only hope that tonight won’t be like last time…._

 

 


	2. Tell Yourself It's Never Going to Happen Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter!! Thought I'd get it to you guys earlier than I planned because of the amazing response that I got from the first chapter. I was so happy!! Aaaand here's the second chapter!

The ride to the bar was eerily quiet. Eren glanced over at Jean multiple times, trying to figure out what mood he was in. Was he in the kind of mood that would result in a fight once they got there? Or the kind of mood that wouldn’t let Eren leave his side because ‘I don’t like how they look at you.’? Eren hated the silence they sat in. Why wouldn’t Jean say anything? “Did I do something wrong?” He asked, carefully, respectfully.

“What? Of course not. Why?” Jean glanced over at Eren, concerned.

“You were quiet…” Eren said.

It took Jean a second before he remembered that Eren hated the quiet. “I’m sorry, baby. I was just thinking. You can turn on the radio if you want to.” He smiled. Eren loved these moments with Jean. You would never be able to tell that Jean had a dark side. Jean was kind and he was like a different person. LIke Jekyll and Hyde. Hyde was the dark side that Eren forced out of Jean.

Eren leaned forward and turned the radio, feeling the anxiety melt away. “Thank you.” He smiled.

Jean smiled back. “Sorry I forgot. I know how much you hate silence...especially after that night…”

Eren froze, not wanting to remember that night.

_“Mom! I’m home!” Eren walked in the house. Silence answered him. “Mom?” Where was she? She normally came running when he came home. After he went to college and could rarely come home, She would come and all but tackle him. “Mom….?”_

“...ren? Eren?!” Jean called. “You ok?”

“Huh? Oh sorry…” Eren shook himself.

“You alright?” Jean looked at him.

“Yea… I was just thinking.” Eren smiled weakly. He hated lying to him but he didn’t want Jean to get upset.

“Okay….You’re not lying right?” Jean looked for any tics that would prove Eren was lying.

“Right.” He smiled.

Jean nodded, seeming to accept the lie. Eren tried not to let the breath he was holding out too quickly. Eren looked at their surroundings, trying to gauge where they were and how long it would take to get them to the bar.

“We’re almost there, Eren. Do you want to check your makeup real quick?” Jean said. Eren knew it wasn’t just a suggestion. He flipped the mirror down and checked it. It still covered the bruises but he knew he’ll need to touch it up.

“I’ll need to touch it up later.” Eren stated.

“You have some with you?” Jean’s hands tightened on the wheel, preparing to do something? Eren didn’t know.

“Yes. I grabbed two bottles before we left.” Eren replied obediently, trying to calm Jean.

“Why two?” Jean’s voice was tight.

Eren swallowed, trying to calculate an answer that wouldn’t upset Jean. “S-some of the bruises-”

“The what?!” Jean’s tone quickly let Eren know he said the wrong thing.

“The marks.” Eren tried to correct himself. “Some of the marks were darker than I thought and I needed to use more.”

Jean visibly relaxed. “Thank you. You could save some for your face, let the ones on your neck show.”

“B-but Jean!” Eren was shocked. The bruises on his neck weren’t pretty nor could they possibly be mistaken for something else.

“It marks you as mine.” Jean pulled into the parking lot. “Not a bad thing, I hope?”

Eren shakes his head. “No, not a bad thing. “ He smiled. “Should I take it off?”

“No. Wait til it comes off on its own.” Jean parked and turned off the car. He leaned over and kissed Eren.

Eren kissed back, knowing it would calm Jean. Eren could never fathom why he insisted on going out when some dumb idiot would end up pissing Jean off. But he didn’t question it. Jean was a mystery to him that Eren no longer wanted to figure out. When they first met, that mystery was what drew Eren to Jean in the first place. Along with nearly everything about him. Eren sighed internally, not wanting to go down that road.

Jean pulled away, smiling. “Stay there.” He got out and went over to Eren’s side of the car and opened his door for him.

“And they say chivalry is dead.” Eren smiled, getting out. This was the side of Jean that he adored. He loved how Jean could be caring and kind to him without any pretense. But Eren knew all too well that Jean could snap at any moment.

“But they haven’t met me yet.” Jean winked.

“Do I need to defend my status as your boyfriend?” Eren joked, trying not to choke on the words, realizing that Jean would never let him go….but Eren wouldn’t be opposed to it. He loved Jean. He would willingly stay. Because no one could love him like Jean. The occasional fight was worth it.

“Jealous?” Jean smiled, kissing Eren’s cheek. “You have no reason to be.” He took Eren’s hand and lead them inside. Eren followed, smiling.

The bar was loud with music and Eren was slightly deafened when they stepped inside. It was half club half bar, and Eren loved it. There was no silence and he loved the fact that no one danced by themselves. No one was a stranger here. It was, ironically, where he met Jean.

_Eren was dancing by himself, the bass from the music running up through his feet and legs to determine how his hips moved and dipped. His hands were above his head, fingers tracing intricate patterns in the air. He wasn’t grounded anymore, his worries from the day melting away as the music played and he danced. Suddenly Eren wasn’t alone and he welcomed it . The stranger’s hands found Eren’s waist and Eren pressed against the body behind him, welcoming the stranger into his private dance. They danced for a while before the stranger pressed his lips to Eren’s ear._

_“The way you move is incredible. Can I buy you a drink?” The stranger said. Eren turned to see amber eyes that made him melt internally._

_“Of course.” Eren smiled. “I’m Eren.”_

_“Jean.” Jean smiled back._

Eren smiled at the memory causing Jean to look at him concerned.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Jean asked.

“How we first met.” Eren responded, still smiling.

Jean laughed. “Can’t believe we didn’t know we went to the same college til the next week.”

“It happens.” Eren shrugged.

“I would have asked you out sooner had I known.” Jean said.

Eren’s smile dropped slightly. Would Jean have snapped sooner? “Yeah…”

“You okay?” Jean asked, concerned.

“Yeah! Just wondering who’s with Armin.” Eren said, relived that he had been looking in Armin’s direction.

“Probably Erwin, his new boyfriend.” Jean answered. “And those two must be Erwin’s friends.” He pointed to a brunette with her hair in a ponytail and glasses and a shorter, black haired man who looked bored.

Eren’s breath caught when he saw the shorter man. He was attractive, Eren decided. “Huh. Let’s go say Hi!”

Jean laughed at Eren’s eagerness but tightened his grip on Eren’s hand. Eren knew that Jean saw the new people as a threat. As they made their way over to the table, Eren noticed that Krista and Ymir were missing, probably dancing, and so were Sasha and Connie. Reiner was talking to Armin while Bert and Erwin listened. Marco was there too and Eren frowned slightly.

_“Jean! Where arrre youuuuu?” Eren called as he looked around. He turned a corner and froze. Jean and Marco were standing extremely close to each other and it didn’t look like they were just friends. As Eren watched, Marco leaned down and kissed Jean and Eren turned and ran and ran and ran, until he couldn’t run anymore._

Eren shook himself mentally and smiled as Armin ran up to him and hugged him. “Hey!” Eren hugged back.

Jean laughed but his eyes were dark.

“Hey! I need to introduce to some people.” Armin lead them to Erwin and the two others. “This is Erwin-”

“Mr. ‘OMG EREN YOU WON’T BELIEVE HOW HAWTT HE IS.’?” Eren interrupted causing Armin to blush and Erwin to laugh.

“That’s Hanji Zoe.” Armin pointed to the brunette. “And That’s Levi Ackerman.” He pointed to the other. “This is Eren Jaeger.” He introduced Eren. “And his boyfriend, Jean.”

Eren waved. “Hi.”  

Hanji leaned forward. “LOOK AT HIS EYES!!! THEY’RE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!”

“Tch. Shitty glasses, leave the brat alone.” Levi pulled Hanji back.

“Brat?” Jean said, dangerously. Eren panicked slightly.

“He doesn’t mean anything by it.” Armin said, noticing Eren’s expression.

Levi rolled his eyes. “You’re all brats to me.”

“You’re only twenty six.” Hanji pointed out.

“And we’re twenty four.” Jean added, still somewhat angry.

“Jean… Please…” Eren whispered, trying to calm Jean. Levi narrowed his eyes but said nothing.

Jean said nothing. Eren took his hand, whispering calming things in German, like he used to when Jean used to have panic attacks. He calmed down, but wrapped his arm around Eren’s waist and drew him closer.

“Dance with me?” Eren said, relaxing when Jean’s eyes lit up.

“Of course.” Jean smiled. Eren lead him to the dancefloor, wondering when, not if, Jean would blow up that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I know that i put some memories in there that don't go into detail and I will be going into detail with them in later chapters. I plan to post every monday but I may post just whenever. Please let me know what you thought and what you want to see going forward!


	3. Do You Feel Like a Man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys...I'm getting into a bad habit...Please don't expect chapters from me everyday. They, more than likely, aren't going to be written as fast as these were. On the other hand, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT I'VE BEEN GETTING! ON WITH THE CHAPTER

Eren was, unfortunately, very aware of how Jean kept throwing Levi glares, almost daring him to do or say something as they danced. Eren had his back pressed against Jean, moving with the beat, his hands back behind Jean’s neck, an anchor to keep him from losing himself. Eren needed to stay on guard throughout the night because Jean appeared to already hate Levi with a passion. Jean’s hands finally found their place on Eren’s hips and Eren sighed in relief. Jean’s hands had been traveling up and down Eren’s body almost the entire time, trying to prove to Levi that Eren was Jean’s and only Jean’s. Jean placing his hands on Eren’s waist meant that Jean had relaxed enough to almost lose himself in their dance.

Eren continued to dance with Jean as more of their friends joined them. Erwin and Armin were almost directly in front of them, facing each other, doing their own thing and completely ignoring everyone else. Sasha and Connie were farther away, their movements questionable for a public setting, but Eren wasn’t going to question, not wanting to have anything to do with it. Bert and Reiner were nearby, Bert looking nervous as hell while Reiner had a huge smirk on his face. Eren quickly decided he didn’t want to know about that either. Ymir and Krista were the farthest away and they were full on making out, not a care in the fucking world, as Ymir would say. Hanji was right beside Eren and Jean doing this weird as all hell dance, her limbs spazzing. Marco was dancing by himself and Eren knew Jean was watching Marco.

Levi was the only one not dancing, the only emotions on his face, a combination of boredom and disgust. Eren was somewhat confused as to why Levi would come to a club/ bar at all if he would just sit there. Levi’s eyes met Eren’s eyes across the crowd of pulsating and Levi’s eyebrow arched. Eren unconsciously moved one of his hands to his cheek. Levi looked amused, clearly Eren was wrong.

Jean nuzzled Eren’s neck. “The makeup came off your neck.” He whispered huskily in Eren’s ear. “I know he sees it. Let him. You’re mine.” He referred to Levi.

Eren turned his head slightly to look at Jean. “Possessive aren’t we? I already told you… They don’t look like love marks. I should go-”

Jean spun Eren and grabbed Eren’s arms tightly. “Don’t. Question. Me.” Jean’s eyes were extremely dark.

Eren winced at the grip, and nodded. “I’m sorry…”

Jean let him go. “You need to touch up your cheek. Go now.”

Eren nodded and headed for the bathroom, seeing Levi narrow his eyes at what happened out of the corner of his eye. Eren kept his head down until he got to the bathroom. He grabbed some toilet paper out a stall and poured some concealer on it. Eren walked over to the mirror and dabbed it on the spots where it had came off previously. Eren glanced down at his neck, wincing at the sight. It looked ugly and horrific. Eren knew someone would think that Jean had done this. And They’d be right. Except… Eren didn’t think he could tell them that they were. He sighed and looked at his arms. Light bruises were forming, so he decided to do a thin layer just to cover up most of it. The bruises were visible but they looked older. That would do, Eren thought before throwing away the paper he used and washing his hands, to free them of any concealer that may have gotten on them.

Eren dried his hands and walked out, looking around. His friends, Erwin and Hanji had retreated back to the table where Marco was whispering urgently to Jean. Eren felt the ugly green monster known as jealousy make its presence known. He took a deep breath and sat next to Armin.

“You missed it.” Armin said, casually.

“What?” Eren looked at Armin.

“Jean almost punched Levi.” Armin dropped his voice.

“What for?” Eren glanced at Jean, noticing that he did look somewhat pissed off.

“Levi asked where you went, calling you brat again.” Armin shrugged.

“Dear lord….” Eren sighed. “You said he does that to everyone right?”

“Technically that was Hanji but yes. He does.” Armin slid a basket of fries to Eren. “You look half starved. When did you last eat?”

Eren munched on a french fry thoughtfully. When was the last time he ate? Two days ago? Maybe more? Eren shrugged noncommittally.

“Eren! You can’t go back to that!” Armin looked panicked.

“I’m not! And Lower your voice.” Eren clamped a hand over Armin’s mouth, lookingaround. Jean merely looked amused at the friends’ antics. “He can’t know about it okay?” Eren pleaded.

Armin pushed Eren’s hand away. “You can’t hide it forever.” He whispered back.

“I can damn well try.” Eren sat back. Levi was watching Eren with what looked like veiled interest.

“It’s not healthy.” Armin grumbled.

“I’m doing better!” Eren protested. Jean got up and sat next to Eren, eyeing Levi and Armin warily.

“Whatcha talking about, _Babe_?” Jean put heavy emphasis on the pet name.

“Armin thinks I’m going to die from starvation just because I’m not hungry recently.” Eren glared at Armin, daring him to say something.

Jean chuckled. “You do need to eat.” Jean put his hand on Eren’s knee, squeezing softly.

“Don’t want me getting sick a-!” Eren was cut off by Jean squeezing his knee harshly.

“You okay brat?” Levi spoke for the first time since early.

“.....Fine…..” Eren said through clenched teeth, glaring darkly at Jean and not thinking about the consequences.

Jean roughly grabbed Eren’s arm and pulled him into the hallway where the bathrooms. “What the FUCK is your problem?! Telling a complete stranger about your past?! Are you fucking stupid?!”

“He wouldn’t have guessed! I just-” Eren was trying to explain but Jean pushed him against the wall.

“You just what? You know better than to question me! I fucking knew he was going to be a distraction!” Jean growled, squeezing Eren’s arms tighter.

“Jean….” Eren whispered. “Please let go.”

“What the hell?” Levi said as he rounded the corner.

“It’s nothing.” Jean growled.

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” Levi replied. “Oi, brat.”

“What?” Eren said.

“Are you a masochist?” Levi asked, as Jean spluttered.

“A what?!” Jean demanded, letting go of Eren, who let out a groan as the blood rushed back through his arms.

“Someone who gets off on pain. I see no erection, so I’m going to guess no.” Levi crossed his arms. “Which makes you a pig who enjoys beating his boyfriend into submission.”

“What? No!” Eren spoke up. “I’m fine. He doesn’t hurt me.” Some part of him couldn’t believe he was defending Jean.

“Bullshit. Your neck and face are bruised because of an extreme fucking session.” Levi rolled his eyes. “I’m not fucking stupid.”

“You know nothing about us!” Jean pushed Eren behind him.

“Does it make you feel like a man? Pushing him around? Making him feel worthless?” Levi taunted.

“Enough!” Eren said. “Both of you! Levi, Jean isn’t hurting me-”

“Bullshit. Look at your arms. Those bruises weren’t there earlier.” Levi cut Eren off.

“Don’t talk to him like that!” Jean lunged at Levi, who merely sidestepped. Jean nearly fell, but he turned to punch Levi, who caught Jean’s fist and kicked him in the stomach.

“Levi! Jean! Stop!” Eren forced himself between them. Jean tried to lunge at Levi again, his elbow hitting Eren in the mouth. Eren instinctively brought his hand up to his lip. His fingers had blood them.

“Eren!” Armin ran to him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine but I can’t get Jean to stop…” Eren looked where Jean and Levi were still fighting.

Marco scoffed. “That’s because you’re too weak.”

Eren froze. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Marco turned to the fighting men. “Jean!” Jean immediately stopped and Levi arched an eyebrow and glanced at Eren, who was turning his face away from them.

“You okay, brat?” Levi walked over to Eren and touched his lip gently. Eren stiffened. “Get shitty glasses to get you some ice for it.”

Eren nodded mutely, unsure.

“Get your hands off him!” Jean yelled, held back by Marco.   
Levi rolled his eyes but drew back. Eren found himself instantly missing Levi’s touch. But That was crazy. And not allowed.

“Jean, love.” Eren went to Jean. “Let’s go home, okay?”

Jean nodded, shaking Marco off. “I’m sorry, babe.” He cupped Eren’s cheek, running his thumb over Eren’s lip.

“It’s okay.” Eren leaned up and kissed Jean, hearing Levi scoff. “Now let’s go home.”

Jean possessively wrapped his arm around Eren, glaring at Levi as Eren lead them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Please let me know if you want to see something in the future.


	4. You'll Cry Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I know but it took me forever to write. It was emotionally and mentally draining. Next chapter will be longer I promise. TRIGGER WARNING! I need to put that there. its only mentioned but I need to make sure people are okay. Enjoy.

“Why did you let him touch you like that?” Jean demanded in the parking lot.

“I didn’t know he would! I froze! What the hell did you expect me to do?!” Eren shot back, not realizing that he was riling Jean up further.

“Push him the fuck away?!” Jean pulled Eren with him. “You’re fucking mine and you fucking let him touch you!”

“You don’t control every aspect of my life. You’re my boyfriend, Not my fucking tyrant.” Eren  yelled. Jean only gripped his arm tighter, throwing him against the car.

“Shut the fuck up. Get in the damn car.” Jean growled. Eren swallowed and did as told, realizing he pissed Jean off.

Jean got in and slammed the door closed behind him. Eren shrank back as far as he could. Jean ended up speeding all the way to their house. “Out the fucking car.”

Eren got out and went inside, trying to control his breathing. It’s your own damn fault for riling him up. You should have pushed Levi away and kept your mouth shut. Jean followed, slamming the door behind them. Eren flinched.

“Get your ass over here.” Jean demanded.

Eren walked over to him, terrified. Jean grabbed Eren’s jaw. “Who gave you permission to let him touch you?”

Eren didn’t respond. “Who?!”

Eren flinched, almost crying out as Jean’s fingers painfully tightened. “N-no one!” Eren responded trying not to show hurt.

“Did I not tell you to keep your damn cheeks covered?” Jean demanded.

“I-I tried!” Eren didn’t have time to stop the punch to his face.

“No you fucking didn’t. Don’t fucking lie to me again.”  Jean hissed, pushing Eren against the wall, hand pressing against his windpipe. “You’re fucking mine. No one else’s. I tell you to do something, do it. Got it?”

Eren nodded frantically.

“If someone touched you, push them away or back up. Got it?” Jean put more pressure.

Eren nodded again, trying to breath. Jean let Eren go. Eren started to cough and wheeze as he got the much needed air back into his lungs. Jean scoffed, keeping Eren pinned to the wall.

“You’ve forgotten who you belong to, haven’t you?” Jean’s lips brushed Eren’s as he spoke. Eren’s blood ran cold.

“No, I haven’t!” Eren tried to get away

“Oh? But you let Levi Ackerman touch you. Like a whore. Is that what you are, Eren? A whore?” Jean trailed his fingers across Eren’s jaw. Eren flinched away and shook his head.

“Jean, please don’t…” Eren pleaded.

“Don’t what?” Jean ghosted his thumb over Eren’s lip, like Levi had done earlier. But where Levi was concerned for Eren, Jean was mocking. “Touch you like he did? Touch you like the whore you are?”

Eren looked at him. “Jean, you don’t have to do th-!” He was cut off by Jean’s fist again.

“Don’t have to do what?” Jean hissed. “Fuck my boyfriend like the whore he is?!”

Eren’s eyes went wide. “Jean please don’t. Please!”

“Shut up.” Jean said, eyes dark. He once again held a hand against Eren’s throat.

Eren shut his eyes, trying to block Jean out.  No no no… Jean tore Eren’s shirt off. **((A/N: Time skip because I am unable to write rape scenes because I just can’t do that to any one, fictional or not))**

Eren lay in bed, sore, hurting, crying finally. He didn’t cry the entire time but now that Jean was gone, Eren finally let the tears flow. He gripped the pillow tightly, needing an anchor. _I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…._ He sobbed into the pillow, feeling every hit, kick, burn, bite and argument from the past two years. Eren shook, the amount of pain astounding. Why does he stay? Why should he? Jean would never let him go for one. Then again, does he really want to go? Who would believe him? Who would take his side? These people he called ‘Friends’ were really Jean’s, except Mikasa and Armin. Eren curled further. He hasn’t spoken to Mikasa since he and Jean got together three years ago.

Does Mikasa know? Did she know before it even started? Eren reached for his phone and unlocked it. He typed out a brief text message to Mikasa before deleting it, deciding not to tell her. She probably didn’t approve of Jean. Nothing more. Mikasa won’t believe him. Who was he kidding, no one will. Who would believe a….whore like him. He let Levi touch him. He shouldn’t have. He shouldn’t have craved Levi’s touch. Levi, who was gentle despite his hard appearance and ‘Don’t give a shit’ attitude. Eren sighed, throwing his phone on the night stand.

Eren had an amazing boyfriend. Jean loves him and cares about him. The things Jean does is only for his own good. Jean would never lay a hand on Eren unless he did something wrong. He deserved everything he got. Every hit, kick, bite, burn. All of it. Eren could make it stop. He could do everything right for once, instead of everything wrong. Eren’s headstrong attitude gets him in trouble. He’ll need to get rid of it. He’ll make Jean happy. Jean won’t punish him anymore if Eren behaves right? He could make Jean happy. He will make him happy. Eren pulled the blanket over himself.

The bathroom door opened and Jean slid into bed behind Eren. “I’m sorry baby. I don’t like punishing you like that.” Jean pulled Eren close.

“I deserved it...I made you mad.” Eren closed his eyes. “I should be apologizing…”

“Eren, baby, no. I love you. You don’t need to apologize. Not at all. You learned, right?” Jean kissed the back of his neck.

Eren nodded. “I did...and I love you too.”

“Good. Go to sleep, babe, you need it.” Jean said.

“Good night…” Eren cuddled closer to Jean. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jean smiled against Eren’s neck.

_ Do you really? _


	5. It Doesn't Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I'm sorry it took so long! I've been uber busy but I got it done! Enjoy!

Eren woke up to Jean’s arms still around him. Eren lifted his head slightly and glanced at the clock, eyes bleary. He groaned and yawned, curling closer to Jean before remembering the previous night’s events. Eren froze as Jean shifted, afraid. Was Jean awake?

“Morning, babe.” Jean said, voice gravelly.

“Morning, Jean.” Eren turned to face Jean. “Sleep good?”

“Yea, with you in my arms, I always sleep good.” Jean smiled and kissed Eren. Eren kissed back, remembering his promise. _I will make Jean happy._

“What do you want for breakfast?” Eren smiled, against Jean’s lips.

“You.” Jean playfully nipped Eren’s lip.

“I am not a sufficient food source.” Eren shivered, fear making his insides cold.

“True… Let’s go out for breakfast.” Jean smiled, mistaking Eren’s shiver for something else. “Shower with me?” Jean nuzzled his nose against Eren’s.

“Sure.” Eren nuzzled back.

“Good. Let’s go then.” Jean unwrapped his arms from around Eren and getting up. Eren felt relief flood him. He had done something right. Eren sat up and got up, nearly crying out from the hellish pain that engulfed his entire body. He gripped the nightstand trying not to pass out.

“Eren, what’s wrong?” Jean was by Eren’s side in an instant. “Are you hurt?”

“I-I’m fine.” Eren smiled weakly at Jean.   
“You sure, babe? I know I was out of control last night. Did I hurt you too much?” Jean cupped Eren’s cheek.

“I’m sure. It doesn’t hurt.” Eren nuzzled Jean’s hand. “It was just a head rush. I got up too quickly.” He leaned up and kissed Jean.

Jean kissed back for a second then pulled away. “You’re positive?”

Eren nodded. “Of course I am.” He pulled Jean to the bathroom. “We need to hurry so we can beat the breakfast crowds.”

Jean smiled. “That we do.” Jean turned the water on and lead Eren in the shower. Eren followed and started to wash up.

_Eren was frozen. Jean’s lips were on his and Eren was overwhelmed. Eren had just gotten to Jean’s house, after running like hell from his mother’s house. Eren had been in hysterics, crying and clinging to Jean, trying to explain what he had seen. What they did to his mother. Jean had been doing his best to calm Eren and finally gave up and kissed him._

_“Eren, baby, It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know what would happen.” Jean pulled away cupping Eren’s face. “You had no way to know.”_

_Eren nodded, still in stunned silence. He had no idea his first kiss would result from something so horrible. Eren closed his eyes, seeing his mother’s body flash before his eyes. Eren cried out and clung to Jean. “W-what if I was there sooner? I could have helped her…”_

_“You would be dead too. Those… monsters who killed her, would have killed you too. You aren’t responsible for her death. You’ll be okay.” Jean held Eren close to him._

_Eren nods, burying his face in Jean’s chest._

“Eren?” Jean snapped his fingers in front of Eren’s face, trying to get his attention.

“Hm? Sorry…” Eren shook himself. “Just lost in thought.”

“What were you thinking about?” Jean searched Eren’s face.

  
“Our first kiss.” Eren looked in Jean’s eyes.

Jean arched an eyebrow. “Oh? Not the bad parts I hope.”

Eren shrugged. “Not really.” 

“Good.” Jean smiled. “Now turn around so I can wash your back.”

Eren did and stared at the wall as he felt Jean massage soap into Eren’s back. Eren wondered why Jean was the way he is. One second Jean would be yelling and hitting him… and the next Jean was like this. Kind, caring, this was the Jean Eren loved. More than anything else. He was amazing to Eren and Eren felt amazing. Eren thrived for it. He loved to make Jean happy, because it meant he wouldn’t get upset.

“We gotta hurry, babe. Traffic’s gonna be a bitch if we don’t get outta here soon.” Jean said as he finished Eren’s back. Eren nodded and stepped out drying off.

Eren glanced in the mirror for just a split second but what he saw was something out of a movie. The bruises were dark and ugly. There were bites all over his neck that looked like a rabid animal had caused them. They were all over skin. Eren was surprised he could even see his skin color. There was no way he could go out in public, he didn’t have enough make up to cover up this many bruise and hickies. Eren started to panic slightly before calming down. He’d just cover up what he could. It wouldn’t be too bad….right? Eren finished drying off. He got dressed and started to put on make up. Eren covered up what he could. It wasn’t too bad. Just like a rough night in the bedroom. That’s all.

Jean hummed as he dried off and got dressed. He kissed Eren’s cheek. “It looks better. You’ve been getting better.”

Eren smiled in response. “Thank you. Will it do?”

“It will do just fine.” Jean pulled Eren from the bathroom.

Eren grabbed his phone off the side table and slipped his shoes on. He hummed as he went down the stairs where Jean grabbed the keys. Eren purposefully refused to look at the wall, knowing what he’d see.

“I need you to clean that wall.” Jean said. “Can’t have that on display, can we?”

Eren shook his head. “No. We can’t.” He didn’t look.

They walk out to the car and Eren gets in. He buckles in and turns on the radio. Jean did the same.

The drive was fairly quiet to a small breakfast diner, which surprisingly wasn’t completely crowded. It was nice and quaint. ‘Wall Rose Diner’ was displayed in proud red letters. Jean pulled in and parked. Eren unbuckled and got out. He smiled at the overall comforting aura the diner had. Jean took Eren’s hand and lead him inside. Eren shivered a bit when they walked in.

“Cold?” Jean asked, smiling.

“A bit.” Eren smiled as they sat in a booth with a rose engraved table, an obvious nod to the name of the restaurant. Jean took his jacket off and put it on Eren.

“Better?” Jean wrapped his arms around Eren.

“Much, thank you.” Eren leaned against Jean. This was the Jean that Eren loved. This is the reason Eren made his promise to himself. The way that Jean loved him was amazing and irreplaceable. Eren wanted to hold on to it.

“Hello, welc- oh Fuck no.” A scarily familiar voice was right by the table. Eren risked a glance up. Levi was glaring at Jean

_ Oh fuck no indeed. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously with this chapter I was hoping to sort of establish why Eren Stayed with Jean. You know the drill, let me know if there's something you wanna see!


	6. Chapter 6

Eren froze. _Shit shit shit_. He glanced at Levi and Jean gauging each of their reactions to each other. Jean had tensed up and his hold on Eren became painfully tight as he glared at Levi. Levi’s knuckles were pure white as he gripped the writing pad he carried with him to take orders. Eren unconsciously fiddled with the key he wore on a chain around his neck, which drew Levi’s glare from Jean to Eren’s neck for a split second, and although his facial features remained the same, his eyes flashed with an emotion so strong Eren almost couldn’t stay there any longer. Jean didn’t take his glare off of Levi, the air between them seem to crackle with potential energy that would end with one victorious and the other on the ground.

“Some customer service you got here.” Jean all but growled. “Having the same guy who tried to take someone else’s things away serve the very person he tried to steal from.”

Levi did growl. “People aren’t things, asshole. The sooner you learn that, the better off you’ll be in life.”

“It’s not your place to dictate how I live my life, dick.” Jean squeezed Eren harder, causing Eren’s breathing to speed up as he tries to restrain the cry of pain that is dangerously close to coming out.

Levi merely ground his teeth. “What do you want to eat, fucker?”

“I would like the pancake platter, coffee.” Jean all but threw the menu at Levi.

“And you, brat?” Levi said, looking at Eren, voice tight.

“He has a name.” Jean snapped at Levi.

“That’s rich coming from the dickbag who called his boyfriend a thing.” Levi shot back.

Eren cleared his throat. “I am sitting right here. Now if you don’t mind, I would like the same thing as Jean, please.”

Jean looked at Eren, surprised. Eren hadn’t acted or stood up for himself in a while and Eren would be lying if he said it didn’t feel good. Levi looked at Eren with what looked like a newfound respect. Before, Eren knew he looked like a timid little cat before but now, he heard of the spark so many said he used to have in his eyes before Jean and Eren started dating, and it was probably back. Judging by Levi’s stare, Eren was probably right. Jean was staring at Eren too but his stare held something dark, a threat, no, a promise for later. But Eren couldn’t bring himself to care. Eren hated when people referred to him as an object and talked about him like he wasn’t there.

“Your drinks will be here shortly.” Levi wrote the orders down, not taking his eyes off of Eren, before walking to put their order in.

Jean had a nearly bone breaking grip on Eren’s leg. “What The actual _fuck_ was that?”

Eren hissed in pain. “I was placing my order, it was obvious he didn’t want to be here and you were about to start a fight. I’m sorry that it came out as rude but it needed to happen before  he or you started a scene.”

“A _scene_? Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?” Jean hissed in Eren’s ear. “You do not speak out of turn to anyone. I don’t give a shit if it’s the short fucker or me. You are below us. You have no right to talk like that to anyone. No one gave you permission to speak.”

“Levi did.” Eren glared at Jean. “In case you forgot while you were insulting me and then flipping out when Levi ‘insulted’ me. Fucking hypocrite.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jean gripped Eren’s arm incredibly hard.

“Let me go, Jean.” Eren said, pain evident in his voice.

“No.” Jean twisted Eren’s arm.

“Jean, please.” Eren gritted his teeth.

Eren cast out pleading glances at anyone who was nearby, but Jean had made them sit in an area where he could do whatever he wanted to Eren without anyone noticing. Eren realized this fact and then he felt trapped. These past few years weren’t worth the pain. Whatever happened to Jean, whatever made him strike Eren to the ground that first night, Eren didn’t care anymore. He wanted out. He needed to get out. Eren knew Jean would never let him go. He needed to fight. But not here. Not in public. Eren needs to figure out a way to get out without letting Jean know. Jean can not be allowed to find out. Not by any means.

“Why should I? You outright challenged me. I should break your arm right here, right now.” Jean growled.

“Please. I’ll behave.” Eren lied through his teeth, willing his body not to give him away.

“You deserve this.” Jean’s voice was scary calm, a contrast to earlier.

“We’re in public, Jean.” Eren pleaded, starting panic. Jean never broke anything. Ever. It was a boundary that, despite everything Jean may have done to him, Jean was unwilling to cross. And now, it was very clear that Jean was more than willing to cross it. “People would question.”

“I’ll explain that the whore couldn’t stay quiet.” Jean snapped.

“I’m not your fucking whore!” Eren pushed Jean away from himself. “You don’t own me!” Fuck this. Eren couldn’t stay with him anymore. He couldn’t. Eren would end up dead if he stayed with Jean.

“Excuse me?!” Jean grabbed Eren’s wrist and snapped it easily. Eren practically screamed out in pain.

Levi was there in an instant. “Get your fucking hands off him.”

“You aren’t wanted here.” Jean glared.

“You broke his fucking wrist!” Levi was practically shaking with anger. A girl with ginger hair hurried over. “Petra, get Eren out of here.”

“Eren’s not leaving.” Jean growled.

Eren had tears streaming down his cheeks from the pain. It hurt and made him dizzy. He struggled to stay awake.

Levi snarled. “Get Erwin, Petra. And call 911 for Eren.”

“You do that, bitch, Eren won’t live to see the next hour.” Jean pressed a hand to Eren’s throat.

Eren felt the hand but didn’t hear the words. Pain was the only thing that coursed through his veins. He realized that Jean was truly insane. Jean didn’t recover and never would.

_“Jean?! Are you okay?” Eren ran to Jean, seeing blood bloom on his shirt. “Jean, talk to me!” Eren pressed his hand to Jean’s chest where the gunshot wound was._

_“W-where’s Mom…?” Jean asked, gripping Eren’s arms._

_“I-I don’t know…” Eren looked down, continuing to add pressure. “They’ll find her. I promise.”_

_“No you won’t find her. No one will…” Jean whispered as the ambulance got there. They took him away leaving Eren crouched on the ground, frozen with the words. No one was there when Jean was shot, he had gotten the call that Jean was in trouble and he turned the cameras on and watched Jean shoot himself. Eren knew Jean had a hand in his mother’s disappearance. But on what level? Could he know that she was already dead and that’s why he shot himself? It could be._

_Eren shook his head, he needed to focus on getting Jean through this, like Jean did for Eren when he lost his own mother._

“Brat?! Eren?! Stay with me, come on! Wake up!” Eren could hear Levi calling faintly to him. Why did his head hurt so much? What happened?

“Wha-?” Eren tried to speak but the words caught in his throat.

“Thank god!” A new voice exclaimed, probably the short redhead from earlier. What was her name? Oh, Petra….right?

“Let me go!” An angry voice, Jean, growled.

“Why should we?” Levi said quietly.

“You can’t take him from me!” Jean exclaimed. “He’s all I have left…”

Eren’s heart almost broke. He tried to sit up, but a hand stopped him. “Jean-”

“Easy there, He rammed your head against the wall pretty good. The ambulance is on the way then you can be taken away from him.” Petra began in a soothing voice but by the end, her voice was almost pure venom.

“He called for me! He still wants me with him!” Jean pleaded with Levi. Eren couldn’t see them and didn’t know what was going on.

“He doesn’t want you. He’s afraid of you and doing what he thinks you require of him, asshole.” Levi growled.

Eren’s eyelids felt heavy and he struggled to stay awake.

“Eren, sweetie, I know you’re tired but you need to stay awake, just for a little while longer. Can you do that for me?” Petra sounded frantic.

“B-but…” Eren started to talk but he couldn’t finish.

“No, you need to stay with me, okay? You need to stay awake for me, for everyone here okay?” Petra was firm but her voice wavered.

Eren nodded but it was jerky and the movement teased him with the idea of going to sleep. What was wrong with going to sleep? Sure, his head hurt but taking naps and such, helped with them a lot. His wrist and head throbbed in unison and he wanted to cry because of the pain. “H-hurts….” Eren would focus on one word sayings until he could speak fully.

“I know, They’ll make it stop and make sure no one hurts you again.” Petra said, reassuringly.

Did they find out?! How?! Jean would- oh...He broke his wrist. And didn’t Petra say something about ‘He’ slamming his head in the wall. Did Jean do that too? Eren’s head too much to try to remember anything. Hell, it hurt a lot just staying awake. Maybe a short nap wouldn’t hurt anything, just until the ambulance got here. “Sorry..” He whispered.

“What do you mean- No! Eren you need to stay awake! Eren come on stay with me!” Petra screamed.

Eren didn’t know Petra well but he knew she cared. Petra was worrying over nothing though. A short nap won’t do anything bad. Eren let his eyes drift close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hides in corner* That hurt to write. But a lot of times, victims like Eren have epiphanies that they need to get out and its very sudden like what's been going on slams you in the face. Jean really does love Eren, and he won't let him go just yet. This is gonna be a long fic and we've only just started, so hold on.


	7. I See What's Goin Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed that I added this to a series. I did this because I'm currently writing a Levi's POV of this story called Never too Late. It'll be up soon. Other than that enjoy the chapter!

_It was dark and warm, almost like he was laying under a blanket with his face covered. Be-beep, be-beep, be-beep. Eren looked around trying to find the source of the sound “Where am I?” he wondered aloud, trying to see in the dark that surrounded him. Be-beep, be-beep, be-beep. “There it is again…” This time he tried to move around but was restricted by something, almost as if everything in existence was pressing down on him. He started to struggle, the beeping picking up pace.  He could feel everything getting colder and a dull pain was forming in his wrist and the back of his head. He could hear what sounded like a door swinging open and voices off in the distance, although he couldn’t identify any of them. He strained to see what they were saying but all he could make out was someone repeatedly saying his name, and it felt like someone was holding his hand. The beeping started to slow again as the pain disappeared and the black that surrounded him became warm again. He could feel himself drifting off into a peaceful, restful state. He accepted it willingly, greeting the warmth with open arms._

It was dark when Eren opened his eyes. Trying to sit up he was met with throbbing pain in his arm and head, he groaned in pain as he rolled over in the bed he was in, only to be stopped by various wires that were hooked to a monitor. Reaching up to rub the sleep from his eyes he was slightly startled when he saw Levi sleeping in a chair beside his bed. He sat up carefully, making sure not to disturb the wires. Eren looked around the room he was in. How did he get here? It was very sterile, white walls and that distinct smell only hospitals seemed to have. He sighed looking down, shocked to see Levi’s fingers intertwined with his. Where was Jean? What happened at the diner? The beeping monitor beside him started to beep faster as he started to panic.

_Flashes of bright lights flickered in Eren’s vision as Petra struggled to keep him awake. He could hear yelling and the sounds of fists hitting solid mass. Why wasn’t he allowed to sleep? Surely it would be okay, right? He’ll just try to tell them to quiet down. No, no. Bad idea, Jean would get really mad at him. He’ll just stay quiet. Yea, that’s a better idea. What were they saying? Eren was really tired but he wanted to know what was going on. He knew his wrist was broken, so why didn’t it hurt? He remembered Petra saying he hit his head. But the voices didn’t seem to be talking about that._

_“Is this some sort of sick joke to you? To prove your dominance in life?!”_

_“Eren deserved it! He needed to learn his place!”_

_“He could be dying right now! And all you want to do is fight me because I, unlike you, don’t believe he deserves any of this!”_

_“Oh? What does he deserve then? You? Some one who ruined everything?! Had he not met you, he wouldn’t have tried to fight back!”_

_“And repeatedly punching him, cutting off his contact with his friends and family and manipulating him is something he deserves? You’re fucked up, Kirstein.”_

_“And you aren’t? I know about your past. How you robbed people blind in the stre-” Jean’s voice was cut off by a sickening crunch._

_“Don’t. You. Ever. Try. To. Fucking. Understand. My. Past. You will never touch Eren or anyone else again. Or I will not hesitate to kill you.”_

_Eren struggled to even speak, to get them to stop fighting. They needed to stop. One of them was hurt and needed help. He tried but he slipped into the darkness that surrounded him once more._

“-ren! Eren!” Someone was holding Eren’s shoulders and trying to get him to snap out of it.

Eren flinched away, fearing making his heart race. “W-what?”

Levi was standing now. “You need to calm down. He isn’t here. That damned brat won’t ever hurt you again. I promise.”

Eren nodded. “I know, I heard you.”

“When?” Levi looked at Eren.

“Before I fell asleep. I tried to stay awake….I really did. I’m sor-” Eren started

“Don’t you dare apologize for what that fucktard did. He deserves to rot in hell.” Levi spat.

“He’s still my boyfriend.” Eren mumbled.

“The hell he is. He could have killed you, Eren. He was willing to end your life over petty jealousy.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Eren said half heartedly.

“Bullshit, brat. I know you have several places to stay. You have several people who would be more than willing to let you stay with them.” Levi said, determined.

“I have to go back with Jean….He’ll hurt someone else if I don’t…” Eren looked down.

“He won’t.” Levi clenched his jaw. “I made sure of that.”

“What did you do?” Eren suddenly became very afraid of what the man beside him could do.

“I told him to stay away from you and anyone else he would hurt, a promise I can deliver on.”

“Why?” Eren looked Levi. “Why do you care so much?” He never met anyone who could see directly through the facade that he put up to hide people from the truth.

“No one should have to deal with that bullshit.” Levi’s were molten silver.

“But I do.” Eren looked down. “I deserved it. I still do. I could have helped him…”

“There was nothing you could have done. He was fucked up beyond repair.” Levi was firm.

“Yes I could have!” Eren cried out. “I can and I will help him. He doesn’t understand….He still loves me...I know he does.”

“How do you know? Because he told you? Newsflash Eren: People lie. All the damn time. Hell, you lied.”

“Don’t…”

“Don’t what? Open your eyes? I could see you wanting to get out of that relationship. You did get out. But now you want to go back. He’s not good for you, Eren. He’ll kill you.”

“No, he won’t...He’s stopped before..” Eren said, pleadingly. “I’ll be fine…”

“No you won’t. The reason you’re here…..is because of him. He put you here. You almost died because of him, you stubborn brat.”

Eren looked down. “He was just really upset…”

“You’re not going back, Eren. Nobody is going to let you.” Levi sat down.

“You’re not my parent. Back the fuck off. Nobody asked you to stay here and lecture me. I know perfectly well what I’m getting myself into. I have to do this. You don’t understand and you never will.” Eren lashed out.

“That’s the Eren Armin told me about. You never acted like this around him, he forced you into submission, something that hid yourself in order to make someone else happy instead of yourself. You had that same spark at the diner. You have it now. You stay with him. You’ll die and that spark will go out.” Levi had his fists clenched. “You deserve to keep that spark. You won’t have it if you go back. You were dead inside when I first saw you. Then the diner, you fought back and it was like you were alive.”

Eren looked at him shock. “What-?”

“Just….don’t go back. He’ll _Kill_ you.” Levi looked at Eren in the eye.

Eren looked down. _Does Levi really care about him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill.


	8. One Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Sorry for being away for so long! I had zero motivation and a bit of writer's block for a while. But I'm back! This chapter is written differently than I normally do because I'm delving into a lot of different themes. I hope you enjoy though!

Staying in the hospital was one of the hardest things Eren had ever done. By nature, Eren was a very fidgety person and being stuck in a hospital bed for….three days? Four? Even he didn’t know how long he was there for. But he did have a lot to think about. Like where the hell he was going to stay. And if he should tell Mikasa where he was. It would make sense to, even if Armin probably already told her. After all, she did tell him that he wasn’t safe with Jean. But where would he stay?

Levi had finally left after another day, complaining about how he needed to shower. He hasn’t been back yet. Eren assumed that he had work. But it gave him much needed alone time. Several doctors had said that Eren had severe damage to his ribs, skull, wrist and spine from when Jean beat him. There were fractures everywhere, it felt like. Eren thought about how Jean would look mournful, almost, after he hurt him. Was it that bad? Why didn’t he stop?

Another thing that was brought up within Eren’s mind during the few days in the hospital was how he was going to support himself. Eren had no job. No way for an income to come in. He had a degree in Art that he wanted to use but Jean had told him there was no need for him to work. Jean made enough, more than enough, to support the two of them. Jean also had a habit of buying anything Eren looked at twice. He tried to think of a time when he was able to say no to Jean and Jean listened. Never was the answer. Figures.  

The time with Jean seemed weird. If Eren could use colors to describe the time with him, he would use colors like red, black, with a dash of yellow. Dark, scary, but with a few spots of happiness. That happiness was some of the best moments in Eren’s life. That time Jean took him on a midnight picnic and told him the stories about the constellations. When Jean took him out in the rain, and they played in the puddles like they were five. Why wasn’t it always like that? Why wasn’t Jean always like that?

The incident with Jean’s mom seemed the most likely reason, Eren mused. When Jean began to hurt him, a good four or five years ago, Jean’s mom was killed. What Eren could remember, was that it was a robbery gone wrong. Someone broke into the Kierstein’s home with the intent to take what valuables they could find. They weren’t expecting anyone to be home, as there was no car in the driveway. Mrs. Kierstein had a habit of walking everywhere she went in order to save money. The robber had made his way around the house without the knowledge of Mrs. Kierstein’s presence. He was almost done when he heard Mrs. Kierstein making lunch in the kitchen, Mrs. Kierstein’s favorite place in the house. The robber had tried to get out but Mrs. Kirstein could hear him and threatened to call the police. That’s when the robber shot her. Jean had found her bleeding out on the floor of the kitchen when he came over. Jean had snapped and blamed himself. Eren knew that he was late that day. Jean then blamed Eren. Eren was the reason for Jean being late, and by extension the reason that Mrs. Kierstein was dead.

Was he? Eren was struck by the feeling that he was responsible for it…. but it was impossible….Right? Eren wasn’t able to move past that. It was his fault….He deserved it. All of it. Any pain that was possible to be inflicted on him….He deserved it! It was all his fault. Had he not been home late, had he not gone against what Jean want for him…Jean’s mother would have been alive still. He wouldn’t be upset...He would be happy… and Eren had taken that happiness away from Jean. Jean wasn’t the monster here. Eren was. He had by default killed one of the most important people in Jean’s life. He shouldn’t have tried to get away. He deserved every bit of what he got. Every hit, kick…. everything!

Eren was afraid now. He knew it was his fault and he needed to go apologize for what he did to Jean. Everything, for not listening to him, for not doing what was best for them. Once he got out he would go and accept any punishment Jean had because to Eren, He deserved death. He might- No. No. Not that. He loved Jean but he couldn’t die for him. Who would be willing to die for anyone? But he needed to make sure he would make Jean happy again. He needed to go back.  Once he gets out… He’ll make sure he will. His doctors said something about being released tomorrow. He’ll go back then. Perks of living in a small town, you can walk everywhere.

Levi walked in. “So I heard you’re being discharged tomorrow, brat.”

Eren nodded. “Yea, I am.”

“Have you thought about where you’re going to stay?” Levi sat in the chair beside Eren’s bed.

“I have… I’m not sure yet. I need to get my stuff from the house…” Eren said, glad his hair was long enough to cover his ears.

“You can stay with me. As long as you can keep yourself clean and clean up any messes. I pride myself on being clean. I don’t need a brat to ruin that image.” Levi said.

“A-are you sure?” Eren was shocked and he was definitely not counting on that.

“Yes, I am. I’ll come by tomorrow to pick you up. I’m not letting you go back into that house with that monster alone.” Levi was clenching his teeth by the end of his sentence.

“Thank you….” Eren looked down.

“No problem.” Levi stood. “I have to go to work now but I wanted to stop in. Bye brat. See you tomorrow.” Levi left.

Eren was completely taken aback. Was Levi actually trying to help? But he didn’t know… He couldn’t tell him and he won’t. Levi won’t want him to stay if Eren tells him. Eren needs to stay with Jean, to attempt to atone for his mistake that proved fatal. Levi wouldn’t understand. Eren drew his knees to his chest.

“Eren…” A achingly familiar voice came from the doorway. Eren looked up.

“Jean..” Eren murmured.

Jean stepped forward. “I’m so sorry….Eren I-I should have stopped. You didn’t… How could I have hurt you…” He broke down crying on the bed.

“No… I deserved it….every bit of it…” Eren said softly.

“What do you mean? You didn’t do anything.” Jean looked at him.

“That day… Your mom…. I was late and made you late… and she died because you because you weren’t there….It was all my fault!” Eren started crying.

Jean froze. “Eren…”

“Had you been there in time she would still be alive…” Eren looked away.

“Eren, it wasn’t your fault… It was how things had to be... “ Jean murmured. “I’m sorry that you had to be hurt….”

“Jean… I want to go home. With you.” Eren murmured.

Jean stared at him. “Eren… are you sure? I could hurt you again…”

“I don’t care… I want to be at home with you…” Eren looked up at him.

“We’ll go home tomorrow.” Jean hugged Eren. Eren hugged back.

“I love you.” Eren murmured.

“I love you too.” Jean rested his chin on top of Eren’s head. Unknown to Eren, Jean smirked. “We’ll go home. Promise you’ll never leave me?”

Eren nodded. “Promise.”

_ One word couldn’t be more binding. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...please don't hate me....love you guys....*Hides*


	9. He's Comin Round Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, real talk here. I'm sorry for not updating, but I got really low and I did attempt suicide. The story was supposed to be an outlet for me, but too much happened at once and I couldn't take it anymore. I am happy to say that I'm better, a lot better. Due to the fact I've dropped one of the things that caused me a lot of stress. So I will have more time to write. And I will say that I reread your comments and that really motivated me. So I present the next chapter. Enjoy!

Eren was released from the hospital the next day. While people continued to go in and out of his room, he signed papers and ate some of the food he was brought by the nurse. Eren looked out the window and sighed to himself. He wasn’t sure how Jean would react to him leaving that morning, Eren had texted Jean to tell him he was being released and he got a text back saying that Jean would be there within the hour. He was making sure he had everything when Levi walked in. Eren didn’t notice Levi until he cleared his throat. Eren jumped slightly.   
“Levi? Why are you here?” Eren fiddled with his phone charger.

“What the hell are you doing?” Levi asked, stone faced. 

“What do you mean?” Eren looked at him, trying to act like he was confused. 

“I know Jean was here last night. I know you agreed to go back. What the hell?” Levi glared at him.

“How did you know about him coming? And It’s better like that, anyway.” Eren stated. “I’m not going to move in with anyone, to whom I can and more than likely will be seen as a burden. He doesn’t view me as that.”

“Bull shit Eren. Bull. Shit. He’s going to kill you, if you stay. You aren’t going to survive that relationship.” Levi balled his fists, avoiding the question entirely.

“He apo-” Eren started.

“Apologized? Guess what, Eren? His apologies don’t mean shit. He’ll hurt you again and again. Oh it’ll stop for about a week after this incident in order for him to stay off the radar. But he’ll hurt you and he won’t stop until you’re dead. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about you. He only cares about owning you. He doesn’t deserve anything good you’ve given him. I went into that house with Erwin while you were here to get you clothes. I saw what that bastard did. You don’t deserve that. He’s going to do it again and again until you’re utterly broken.”

“Why do you act like you care?” Eren whispered. “He does care...he’s just upset...it was my fault...he’s just punishing me….” His voice was weak, trying to fight for what he believed was the right thing, what he deserved. 

“Because no one deserves that. You don’t. You aren’t being punished for anything. He’s a sick, fucked up, son of a bitch who hurt you to get himself off.” Levi said firmly. “And I’m not letting you go back.”

“Why?” Eren looked at Levi. “I barely know you….you barely know me. Why do you care about me? About What he does to me?” 

Levi was silent for a long moment. “I have my reasons and my own story. I’ll explain all of it once you’re safe. But until then, my priority is keeping that asshole away from you, not explaining myself to you.” 

“No.” Eren straightened up. “I can take care of myself. Always have and I will continue to do so. I don’t need some guy I barely know, who I met in a  _ bar _ , to try to act like he cares when most likely he wants to beat me into submission like everyone else. No thanks, I already have that. I know his style, how it works. I know nothing about you, how you’ll react to the slightest things. You don’t know me, how I work. Get out of my life and stay out. Everything was fine until you thought that I needed your help. But I don’t.” Eren was thrumming with energy. Anger was something he was familiar with but he was never on the giving end of it. He was always the one being talked down to, and it felt amazing to tell this asshole, who thought he knew everything, off. He could take care of himself, and he just proved it. 

“Please.” Levi said quietly. “He’ll kill you, Eren. They’ll find your body in a ditch somewhere and he’ll walk free. He won’t stop until you’ll bleed out. And you will unless you leave him.”

“No!” Eren was getting upset. “You’re wrong! You’re wrong! He would never!” 

“He gave you a concussion! You almost died because of him!” Levi growled

“I’m fine! I always am!” Eren started shaking. “I. Am. Fine!” 

Levi looked at him up and down.  “Uh huh….you sure about that?” He gestured to Eren’s arms, which were shaking so bad that Eren had to dig his nails into his palms to stop.  “This doesn’t look okay. By any stretch of the imagination. You aren’t okay, right now. You most certainly aren’t safe with him. You can’t go back, I’m not letting you and neither are your friends. Armin told me he knew about it but you apparently begged him not to tell anyone. Erwin didn’t know but he’s a good lawyer and he’ll help you press charges against Jean. Hanji guessed from the moment she saw you and Jean together. You were cowering with him around.  _ Cowering _ , Eren. You aren’t going to  _ cower _ around anybody.  Reiner and Bert didn’t know but they knew something was off. Ymir and Krista knew but Ymir didn’t do anything at your request, once again. Connie and Sasha were horrified when I told them. You have friends who don’t want to see you end up dead. Petra barely knows you and yet she would do virtually anything to protect you. You have several places to stay, so that way you don’t have to go back. I know about your degree in art. I know that you can use that. You are able to have a life without him constantly trying to control you. You deserve way more than anything he can offer you.” 

“Like what? What do I deserve, if not him? I don’t deserve anything good. My degree? That’s worth nothing. Art is useless.” Eren’s heart broke saying those words but they were true, weren’t they? After all, Grisha said that. Then Jean. Art shouldn’t be anything to Eren. He was trying desperately to conform to what was expected of him, and would continue to do so, even if it meant losing himself. “And my friends? Some of them knew. You said so yourself. Why didn’t they do anything to help me? Just because I ask something, doesn’t mean they have to do it. That’s been proved for a loooong time, Mr. Ackerman. You don’t understand why I chose to stay and you never will. Congrats on stating your case to a brick wall. The door is that way. Have a nice day.” Eren faked a brilliant smile and gestured to the door. 

Levi sighed. “I do understand, contrary to popular belief. You feel as if you owe him something. You said so yourself that you deserve it, that it’s your punishment. It’s not. It never will be. No one deserves that. You did absolutely nothing to deserve that and I’m pretty sure you never will. You don’t mean to hurt people with whatever weapon they choose to assign to you. You didn’t do a damn thing and I know for a fact that the asshole you choose to stay with, is using your guilt against you. He always has and always will. And you’re seriously going to call me Mr. Ackerman? That’s what I get for trying to help you out? I get you don’t want help, but virtually calling me an old man will not help you or me. You can insult me all you want, but make don’t you ever,  _ Ever _ , make a joke about my age again.”

“Or what?” Eren was flat out taunting him. “You’ll hit me? Beat me to a bloody pulp? You aren’t the first one. And I guarantee you that you aren’t the last. You aren’t gonna do anything. Because you’re afraid I’ll trigger. I can see it in your eyes. You aren’t as closed off as you want to lead people to believe.” Eren snapped, shaking harder.

“Triggering is an important thing, Eren. You can seriously hurt your-” Levi was cut off.

“Hurt Myself? Is that what you were going to say?” Eren was practically laughing. “You think I’m afraid of that? When have I ever been afraid of that? It would be a welcome thing to be able to control when I got hurt. It would be a dream. But I can’t. Because that pain is exclusive thing that I have no access to. By any means. And that sucks. So, triggering, for me, would be a welcome form of release.” 

Levi merely stared at Eren for a good few minutes. “You don’t have control over your own life. Taunting me, trying to get me to trigger you, won’t give you that power back. I know how much you want it, but it won’t help. You’ll feel like shit. And you’ll more than likely feel worse. Trust me. Please.” Levi pleaded in his own way. 

Eren looked down and sighed. “I don’t know how… I’m scared…” He started crying. “There’s so much I don’t know and what he’ll be okay with….” Eren completely broke down.

Levi made no move to touch him. “I know, but we can help you. You need to let us. We’ll get you to a safe place for tonight and tomorrow we’ll work on a game plan. You just need to not let him in.” Eren sighed and nodded. 

“O-okay. Th-thank you….” Eren looked down, flushing slightly. “Can I have a hug or is that not okay?”

Levi made a face then awkwardly hugged him, clearly way out of his element. Eren relaxed, feeling the contact help him.

“What the fuck is going on here?!” A familiar voice sounded out, making Eren’s blood run cold.

_ Oh no... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the bit about Eren wanting to trigger can be confusing, but for a lot of people, myself included, that's a form of control that we can use, when there's nothing left that we can control. Just so you know.


	10. Ripple Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, I'm so sorry for being gone for so long! I needed to get my grades up and Finals were last week so....I'm braindead. I want to thank everyone for their continued support and I am looking for a Beta for this story so if you are interested, drop a comment below. Enjoy!

Eren felt his blood run cold. He hadn’t spoken to Mikasa in several years, ever since he started dating Jean. He pulled away from the hug and wasn’t sure what to do next. Mikasa, thankfully didn’t give him much time to think. She practically threw himself at her adopted brother and was hugging him to the point of near strangulation. Eren had to repeatedly attempt to pull away from her for Mikasa to notice that Eren was slowly running out of oxygen. 

“Thank god you’re safe!” She grabbed his shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?”

“I was afraid…..and I thought I deserved for not listening to you when you warned me….” Eren looked away guiltily. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Eren, he almost killed you! I know you didn’t want me to worry but you have to realize that you are my brother and I am gonna worry no matter what…..” Mikasa hugged him tightly again. 

Eren started crying. “I-i’m so s-sooorryyyy…” He buried his face in Mikasa’s shoulder. 

“Shhhh…..” Mikasa stroked Eren’s hair. “It wasn’t your fault.” Eren calmed down slightly, then he felt Mikasa tense up. “Who. The. Hell. Are. You?” Mikasa glared at Levi.

“Who the fuck are you?” Levi retorted in a preppy white girl voice.

“Answer the damn question, shorty.” Mikasa glared, annoyed.

Levi’s eyes glinted. “I’m Levi, the guy who saved Eren’s life. Now answer mine.”

“Mikasa. Eren’s sister.” Mikasa glared more and moved to shield Eren. 

“‘Kasa….” Eren said softly. “He’s good.”

“I don’t know, eren….you said the same thing about Jean….” Mikasa was wary. 

Eren pushed her away. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Eren. I’m not going to trust your judgement until you can prove you are capable of having a good judgement.” Mikasa said sternly.

“You aren’t my mom! You aren’t even supposed to be here! Isn’t that what you said?! That you’d never come back?!” Eren demanded. “You have no right to swoop in here and act like I’m not capable of making my own decisions.” 

“Eren….Please. You aren’t safe right now….” Mikasa let her arms drop. “Let me in.”

“Why?! You pushed me out! You never are there for me and you explicitly stated that you never will be! So get out! I-I don’t need you….” Eren broke down in sobs. “Just….go….”

Levi approached Mikasa. “You need to leave. Now.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are? You barely know me or my brother. He’s probably just a charity case to you.” Mikasa snapped.

“He told you to leave so leave.” Levi said coolly.

“Eren-” Mikasa was interrupted.

“Is leaving. Fuck this.” Eren sighed.  “I can’t take you two screaming at each other anymore.” Eren grabbed his bag and went to walk out.

“Eren, please don’t.” Mikasa pleaded. “You can’t live with him anymore.”

“Why do you care? You should be cheering. You were right after all.” Eren looked at Mikasa sadly. “And who said anything about going home with Jean?”

“I did.” Jean spoke up from the doorway. “You belong to me.”

Levi and Mikasa stood in front of Eren protectively.

“Not a chance in hell.” Mikasa growled. 

“Oh the absent sister returns.” Jean smirked, attempting to breeze past.

Levi knocked him on his ass. “You aren’t going anywhere near Eren.” He crossed his arms and glowered at him.

“Sure I am.” Jean grinned. “He is my boyfriend after all.” 

“Like hell.” Eren muttered from his spot behind Levi and Mikasa.

“What the fuck did you say,  _ love _ .” Jean stood, glaring.

“I’m not your fucking plaything!” Eren shouted, fear making his voice shake.

“Seabiscuit, I am so fucking done with your shit. Now leave before I make you.” Levi glowered, as Mikasa attempted to comfort Eren.

“Mmmmm, sounds really tempting, believe me it does, but…..not without Eren. He’s the only thing I want.” Jean cocked his head.

“Don’t say his name!” Mikasa snapped. “You don’t have that fucking right!”

“Look who’s talking. You dropped off the face of the earth because he refused to listen to you, which was his first mistake.” Jean laughed. “I do believe you no longer have the right to call yourself his sister.”

“You little bitch!” Mikasa lunged at Jean, shoving Eren to the side. Eren fell against the wall on his wrist and he cried out in pain, Mikasa seeming to snap out of it.  “Eren? Oh god….I’m so sorry….I didn’t mean to….” She looked like she was in pain.

“Go away…” Eren whimpered. “All of you! Go! I’m done with whatever the fuck this little party is! I just want to be alone right now!” 

“Eren...please don’t do this to us…. To me…” Mikasa pleaded but Eren ignored her. Levi tried to look at Eren.

“Bright eyes…. You sure you want that?” Levi tried to get Eren to look at him. 

“Listen to you poor bastards.” Jean snickered. “That’s why Eren is like this. You make him think he actually has a choice. You need to get your head on straight.” Levi lunged at Jean, punching his face. 

“You little fucker need to realize that Eren is not yours anymore. He never was. That was an illusion that you lived behind for an incredibly long time. He. Doesn’t. Belong. To. You.” Levi kicked Jean in the stomach with each word, not noticing that Eren was curling up and covering his ears, starting to shake. 

“Everyone stop!” A doctor ran in. “You three out.” He pointed to Jean, Mikasa, and Levi. Mikasa shuffled out as Levi kicked Jean one last time before following. Jean groaned in pain, attempt to get up but was stopped by a pair of police officers. 

“Jean Kierstein, you are under arrest for violating the restraining order that was put on you by Mr. Jaeger’s friends and family.” One said as they cuffed him and hauled him out. The doctor walked over to Eren, touching Eren’s shoulder gently.

“Are you okay, Eren?” He asked, softly, careful not to scare him anymore than he already was. Eren slowly shook his head. “Are you hurt?” The doctor asked, trying to get Eren to stand. Eren refused to move but nodded. The doctor gave up and sat beside him. “I need you to open your body up a little, okay?” Eren looked up at him, clearly scared. “Its okay. I’m here. No one is going to come in.” The doctor reassured him. “You need to breathe and by opening up you’re allowing yourself to breath easier, understand?” Eren slowly nodded and opened his body posture up a little.  “Now, Breathe with me.” The doctor took slow, relaxing breaths and slowly Eren followed suit, calming down. 

“What’s going to happen? To the other two that were in here?” Eren asked, quietly. 

“Your guests are being questioned and the man may be charged with assault as he did attack Kierstein.” The doctor explained.

“Okay….” Eren got up and sat on the bed. Looking out the window, he felt a heavy sort of tiredness settle on him. “May I be left alone for a little while….I’m exhausted…” Eren looked at the doctor who smiled and nodded, leaving. Eren curled up and started to cry. He stayed like that for several hours as the police interrogated Mikasa and Levi. 

_ What am I going to do? _


	11. UPDATE

I'm sorry but I cannot continue this fic anymore. The person I had originally written it for and I had a falling out and I can't even look at this fic anymore. I am so sorry. I will be starting something new soon. I have a few ideas which i welcome all of you to vote on. I will start whichever one wins on saturday. The plot will remain secret but I will put the suggested title and a basic summary. If you want to use an idea please ask or I will report you.

 

1\.  The Corps. Basically Eren is the owner of a small confectionery shop and a strip club opens up with levi heading the project. Will be a combo of smut and fluff.

 

2\. The Scarlett Cloud. Apocalyptic au with blood rain and evil warlords. Smut and angst. VIOLENT

 

3\. Burn in hell. Eren is a struggling actor starring in a shitty horror movie. shitty humor and fluff with slight smut

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought about it, what you might want to see in later chapters.


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